What's Your Function?
by Startix-Master of the NoLess
Summary: Never let Yang plan a party. And never go to a party she planned.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own RWBY.

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Breakfast at Beacon was a fairly nondescript event. The clinking and clattering of forks and knives blended together with the dull roar of chatter from the students, forming a familiar, if cacophonous, din in the spacious cafeteria. The large windows let in a splendor of natural light that was rivaled only by the hair of a certain blonde brawler. Incidentally, said blonde was standing atop a table, surrounded by other Beacon students, and was passing out fliers.

"Come one, come on!" she crooned, all but tossing fliers at people. "One night only, a party you'll never forget, sure to make memories that'll last forever!"

From their usual table, Ruby, Weiss, and Blake watched, with faces of curiosity, annoyance, and wariness, respectively. "What on Remnant is she doing?" bristled Weiss.

"It's Yang; whatever it is, I'm sure it's no good."

"Hey, I resemble that remark!" snickered Yang, appearing as if from nowhere and making Ruby squeak in surprise.

"How did—" Blake took a second glance back at where Yang had been merely seconds earlier. "You were _just_ there."

"I learned from the best." she shrugged, before shoving a paper in the Faunus' face. "Coming to my shindig tonight? Since you guys are my extra special friends, you don't have to wait at the door!"

Blake quickly read the paper, wincing slightly at the bright and vivid colors Yang used to decorate it. _Come to Yang Xiao Long's Turn Up Function, tonight at seven! Food and refreshments available, but you'll have to provide your own party fever and favors!_

"What door?" asked Weiss. "You're not hosting this…whatever it is in our dorm, are you?"

Yang scoffed, ruffling Weiss' hair. "Don't be silly, She Who Sexes My Sister." Ruby, after hearing that comment, all but spat out her milk, blushing furiously. "I'm having it in the auditorium."

"And just _how_ did you manage to obtain approval for this?" asked Blake, arms folded.

With a flourish, Yang produced a slip of paper from her cleavage, thrusting it towards Blake. Cheeks slightly pink, the brunette took it, scanning.

"'Official Ozpin Seal of Approval for One (1) Turn Up Function On The Night Of May 7th.'" Blake read, eyeing the stamp of a miniature Ozpin flashing a thumbs-up in the corner. Slowly, she looked up at the smirking blonde. "How did you manage this?"

"Um, I invited him, duh."

"…Yang, in a strange sort of fashion, I am actually impressed by your skills when it comes to nonsense." spoke Weiss. "Well done."

"Grazie, my dear." Yang replied, doing a little bow. "So, coming? And I do mean to the party."

Weiss pondered as Ruby tackled Yang to the floor, shouting about 'innuendo' and 'shutting up forever'. "We have been working fairly hard lately. I suppose we've earned one night to…'cut loose', or however you say it."

"Yay!" cheered the blonde, turning to Blake with wide, doe eyes. "Blaaaaaa~aaaaaaaake?"

The brunette bit back a smile, trying to resist looking at those huge violet eyes that so desperately wanted approval, even though their owner had it from the school's highest authority. But Blake was valued higher, it seemed. A few more seconds was all she lasted before she broke into giggles, giving Yang a quick kiss on the cheek. "Fine, fine, I'll come."

Yang opened her mouth.

"No innuendo."

Yang closed her mouth.

* * *

The W, R, and B stood outside the entrance to the auditorium, each dressed in her party best; Weiss in an extravagant blue and white ballgown that looked as though it were painted on her, white opera gloves on her hands, bluish-white heels, and, oddly, pink eyeshadow. Blake wore a simple cocktail dress and black heels, her trademark bow tied around her arm. Ruby was the most casually dressed, in a red skirt with black lining, black boots, and red stockings.

"Are you sure you're not overdressed/underdressed?" Ruby and Weiss said to each other simultaneously, before immediately getting into a bickering match. A single look from Blake silenced them, though Ruby stuck out her tongue at the heiress when Blake wasn't looking.

"Let's get this over with." spoke Blake, pushing open the door.

What greeted them was certainly not what they had expected. The auditorium had been filled to almost the absolute brim with thermostats, dimmer switches, radios, and dozens of other electronic gadgets and gizmos with variable switches. Music blared out from seemingly every angle, but low enough it didn't rupture the hearing if all within range. Food and drink tables had been placed at strategic locations; no one had to go far for a snack. Dozens of students were already in attendance, including JNPR, where Nora was having the time of her life fiddling with a dimmer switch, the chandelier above her flashing sporadically like a strobe light.

Weiss was the first to speak. "What the actual hell goes on here?"

"Guys, you made it!" The girls turned to see Yang hopping off the stage, an enormous novelty clock dangling around her neck and shades far too large for her over her eyes. "Whaddya think?"

"What do I—what _IS_ all this?" asked Weiss, gesturing around at the electrical devices. "Is _this_ the party you were talking about this morning?"

"Heck yeah!" Yang tossed aside the shades, nearly hitting a student who was enjoying the volume switch of a pair of speakers too much. "Welcome to the first official Yang Xiao Long Turn Up Function!"

"You've been saying that all day; what does 'turn up function' even _mean_?" asked Ruby.

"No one really knows. Literally no one." Yang flicked her giant clock, smiling as it swung back and forth. "But it sounds cool."

Weiss rubbed her temples. "I go through the enormous trouble of dressing up, applying makeup, squeezing into these heels that must've been some ancient form of torture, argue with Ruby for roughly an hour on her choice of dress—"

"Don't hate me because I look cute and sexy at the same time." retorted the scythe-wielder, slapping her sister a low-five.

"—all to come to your 'party'—if you can even call it that—where the entertainment is _fiddling with switches!_"

Yang rolled her eyes. "Answer me, what did you think when I said 'turn up function'?"

"I wasn't aware you had mastered the powers of being so insufferably literal!"

A blast of rock music interrupted Yang's reply, causing the team to turn. Nora had gotten her hands on one of the radios and was dancing like a madwoman, bumping against Ren in an attempt to make him join in, the dual-gunner's stoic face showing the faintest traces of cracks. Jaune and Pyrrha were nowhere to be found.

"You came of your own free will, princess. Speaking of, it took you guys an hour to 'argue' huh?" Yang smiled as her innuendo had the desired reaction; Weiss' face going scarlet, Ruby sputtering as she tried to protest what Yang was implying.

"Yang." Blake said, having found her voice. "For once, I…slightly agree with Weiss. This is ridiculous. Though I have no idea what a 'turn up function' actually is, I highly doubt it involves," she made a wide sweep with her hand, gesturing to variable objects. "All of this."

"You girls seem to be the liveliest bunch here, as usual."

Three shrieks of surprise emanated from the group as they turned to face the speaker, Headmaster Ozpin himself. In his hand was a small lava lamp, a dial on the side he kept turning up and down, darkening the lamp randomly. "Miss Xiao Long, congratulations on this wonderful function. I haven't had this much fun in ages."

"Thank you, professor." Though the answer was for Ozpin, Yang looked dead at Weiss and Blake as she said it, relishing the heiress' incredulous look and the Faunus' exasperated one.

"It saddens me that Glynda couldn't attend. She would so enjoy the atmosphere."

"Really?"

"No, but I thought saying that would make you feel better."

"Touché."

"As you were, ladies." he concluded, strolling off, still fiddling with his lava lamp.

"It's official." exclaimed Ruby. "I've seen everything."

Yang gave Weiss a sly look. "_Everything_?"

-smack- "Shut up, Yang."

All in all, the 'party', as it was, was fun. Ruby spent the better part of the night turning up and down every single device she could get her hands on, becoming a red blur as she zoomed about the auditorium. Weiss hung back, pouting at the lack of attention she was getting, but found enjoyment herself when she found a dimmer candle. Blake and Yang spent the evening surveying the party as it grew from a throng into a crowd, the blonde promising to make the next one 'fifty times more awesome'. Blake had laughed at that, before giving Yang a kiss and promising she'd help her any way she could.

Ren finally broke down and danced with Nora.

Jaune and Pyrrha were found making out behind the stage ("A closed curtain deal?" Yang had cackled, making the pair blush.)

Ozpin allowed Yang to hold another 'function' if he could keep the lava lamp.

Yang said yes.

**END**

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_Special mention goes out to __tigerlilly22__ for motivating me, and just being a sweetheart in general~^_^_


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